Let me rephrase that, how do you cope with unexpected bad news? I've had three friends in the past few weeks each receive news that was not expected and not pleasant. One has learned that her young daughter has a lifelong illness that required a stay in the pediatric intensive care unit, a trip to Madison, and constant monitoring. This news will forever impact their wonderful family and require daily medication and monitoring. My friend reached out for help, and gratefully accepted when it was given. They are arming themselves with information, so they can prepare for what the future holds. She is facing this situation head on, and with an upbeat attitude. I admire that, as I know that it would not be easy to do.
Another friend called to say that their beloved dog of 12 years had just curled up next to the fireplace, and never woke up. Her kids were at school, and she faced the dreaded task of having to tell them and explain why, how, and when he died. She was so sad, as it was completely unexpected. The positive side to this is he didn't suffer with a lingering illness, and the whole family was able to say their goodbyes. It's one of the hardest life lessons we have to learn, but it is a lesson and a very important one. They are still sad, but already talking about adding a new four-legged brother or sister soon! She's in for a shock, as she hasn't had a puppy in 12 years!
The last unexpected bit of news was from a childhood friend who had learned that her husband of 10 years was coping with a "mid-life" crisis and wanted to move out of their new house, leaving their three beautiful daughters, so he could "work" on things. This bit of news came completely out of the blue and shocked her. They had a wonderful marriage, or so she thought, but apparently he had not been happy for quite a few months. I had a conversation with her today, and she is one of the strongest people I know. On top of this news, she had to have her gall bladder removed! She comes from a family of very strong-willed women, and she said she will not be someone who uses this as an excuse to quit. She is facing it as a chance to create an opportunity for herself and her girls. She is giving into some "poor me" time, and then moving on with her life. It's such an admirable way to handle it, and I know she will do just that.
However you choose to handle bad news, hiding out, reaching out, or striking out, know that there are so many resources and people who are usually willing to listen and pitch in. I hope the news you hear today is positive, but if it isn't, don't feel like you are alone, seek comfort in friends and family, and maybe try to turn those lemons into lemonade, and add a shot or two if it helps!
Dealing with Bad News
Feelings are one of the seven dimensions of wellness explored on the Balance Your 7 website. Click here for links to a variety of articles that may help when you're dealing with bad news.
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